I remember leaving the hospital thinking, I can’t believe they are letting us go home with a baby! What do we know about caring for a newborn?
Despite all of the classes we attended, in that moment I felt like everything I had learned was erased from my memory. This precious angel I had just birthed was in our care now. No more reminders from the nurses that it was time to feed her; no more 24 hour around the clock care (for the both of us).
Coming home felt very surreal but also very scary. What do we do next? I described the way I felt was like moving to a new country where you don’t know the language and yet you have to get around somehow. I felt so clueless in that moment.
I was extremely fortunate to have help because man, was this tough! (…And to those mama’s that do it all on their own, you all are strong!) I mean, it’s still tough.. 6 weeks later! I’m lucky that she likes to sleep 3-4 hours at a time so I’m not entirely sleep deprived. However, I laugh now when I think about the days (pre-pregnancy) when I would complain about not getting a full nights sleep. Ahh.. 🙂
So what are some of my postpartum challenges?
I want to be REALLY honest with you all because I had no idea what was next for me. Besides the insane amount of love I feel for this angel of mine (I mean.. I’m obsessed with her), I did find (and still have) some struggles that I’m dealing with.
Baby Blues. They’re a real thing. Your hormones are raging and sometimes you just want to cry and guess what, thats ok! Thankfully I’ve had a very supportive circle around me that reassured me that this was all normal. In those moments, a hot shower was exactly what I needed to decompress.
Breastfeeding. I went in thinking breastfeeding was going to be “easy” because it’s “natural” and boy was I wrong. I’m not going to go into full detail yet because I plan on dedicating an entire blog post to this subject alone however, if you’re like me and are struggling.. know that you’re not alone.
Weight Loss. I know it took me 9 months to gain this weight but that doesn’t mean I feel any better carrying around these extra lbs. In fact, this might be my biggest challenge at the moment. I feel so uncomfortable in my own skin. Not being able to fit into 90% of my closet has been really tough.
Going Out. As silly as this may sound, being a first time mom I feel a lot of pressure when I’m out and about. I took her to Target (on my own) and I’m pretty sure the entire store heard her screaming. I was mortified because I couldn’t console her fast enough and truthfully I wanted to breakdown in tears.
Motherhood has been a life changing experience. It’s an adjustment I don’t think any class can prepare you for. It can be really scary! There have been times that I’ve felt extremely defeated however nothing can compare to the love I feel for her. She may be screaming her head off because I’m not changing her diaper fast enough but ya know, I still adore every ounce of her.
Are you expecting? ..I hope I didn’t scare you.
Have you had a baby and have experienced any of this?
We’re all in it together ♥